The Story Spreads

This plot line is getting too good not to share with my other friends.

Plus I need advice about how to get into Sweet Cheeks's pants.

I work overnights at my other job, I tell them all about the Jawline disaster. I tell them all about how after I ran away into the cooler I ran back out to find Mr. Jawline 1 bent over the meat bunker displaying an ass as gorgeous as his jawline.

Coworker: "Why didn't you slap it?!"

Me: "Cause I was working! Besides! What would I have said to him after that??"

Her: "Hey! Sorry for the... ASS-ault!"

...terrible. Absolutely terrible. Surely that would not get me into anybody's pants.

I tell them about Gay Cashier poaching on my Sweet Cheeks because Gay Cashier Friend has recently broken up with his boyfriend and is rebounding. I tell them about missing Sweet Cheeks at till 6.

They start to plot. Ginger claims to be really good at getting people together by starting rumours. I don't think that'll work. Kitty doesn't really say anything. She's Indian; her mom has her covered and will arrange a marriage in 4 years. Kitty does not have to worry about being forever alone.

We come up with ideas, the majority of which revolve around using avocados. I can fondle one in produce and ask if he knows how to tell if it is ripe. I can gently roll one towards his feet and he will hopefully trip and fall into my arms. If it rolls towards someone else I must scurry over and snatch it back before someone other than my Sweet Cheeks steps on it. My doubt grows. I don't think any of these ideas will work.

I ask Norma how she met her husband. She meets people in conventional ways.

"I got drunk."

I do not drink alcohol so this will not work.

Avocados it is.